I want to make a booking
for this assessment bullshit.
So I can drive a fucking car on the fucking roads in Victoria.
So the cops can get up my fucking arse again HEY?!

I wanna make a booking for this fucking bullshit. So I can shove that piece of paper up the fucking arses down here in Croydon.
So I can say I can drive a car safely. Instead of this bullshit.

And stop getting the cunts up my fuckin' arses.
I tell you what mate, since I've been living down here in Croydon, all I've been getting is harrased by the dickheads down here in Croydon.
What?
They think I am a fucking dickhead!
I tell you what mate, if it's not me – it's the fucking they.
They're too lazy to do shit.
I want someone to come around here and give me a driving test ploise.
CUNTS!
Yes, so I can keep driving on the fuckin' roads in fuckin' Victoria.
I'll tell you what, I'll shove my car up the next police car I see too and tell the cunt to get fucked.
Stop harassing me! Ya bastards!
And tell your review boys to get fucked too. CUNT! Come on make a booking ya cunt. Fucking arsehole.
What?! 2, 5, double 1, 9 double 1, fuckin 8! I've had it since 1980!
I'll tell you what, since I've been living in Croydon, I've got a problem with these cunts in Croydon pissing me off. Cause they think I'ma fuckin' dickhead.. I'm fuckin' not! I drive alright! Fuckin arseholes, get off my back! Cunts.
I'll tell you what mate, are you there? If I lose my license, either you or one of you other cunts can do my junk mail paper run for me right?! If I lose my fuckin license, because I tell you what, if I lose it, I'm gonna go round there and kill every cop in sight. Fuckin' cunts!
They're not helping m, they're pissing me off. Fuckin' cunts!
You making a booking or what ya cunt?
When's the cunt gonna come around and pick me up? So I can do this fucking bullshit.
Then I can shove it up the cop's arse! And I'd like to shove it up his arse too, the fuckin cunt.
I tell you what, they're an arrogant bunch of bastards down at Croydon.
I rang them up this morning, they treat me like a fuckin' shit! Fuckin' arseholes.
I'll tell you what mate, the next copper that comes around here, I”m gonna have him up for harassment. And I don't give a shit. They've been giving me the shits ever since I've been driving a fuckin' car.
All they fuckin' want is fuckin' money.
Are you recording this ya cunt?
Are you recording this ya bastard?
Why?
Well, you gonna make a booking for me to drive me fuckin' car ya cunt?
NOOOOOOooooooooooooo!

© Magnus O'Pus 2012